'Dear Dolly: on love, life and friendship' by Dolly Alderton

 

Dear Dolly: on love, life and friendship (2022) by Dolly Alderton is an essential read for any woman. This non-fiction book is made up of questions written by the public to Dolly via her Sunday Times Style column. It is ideal to go back to in times of need. Whether you're facing an issue with dating, sex, friendships, family, or even yourself, Dolly has an answer for it. 

What I like about this book is that Dolly strays away from glorifying pain and hardship. Most self-help books have the tendency to tell us that 'it'll all be okay' and just to 'be positive.' But Dolly is real about things. She says it how it is, even if that means offering you a harsh truth. Reading her answers to people is comforting and validating. She provides a non-judgmental and maternal voice. When reading through this book, I automatically felt connected and less alone. It made me realise how similar we all are in our struggles with insecurities and failure. The chances are that if you've been struggling to find a solution for something in your life, it's in this book! She covers a huge range of topics. One example is: 'Dear Dolly, my best friend didn't pick me to be her bridesmaid.' Nothing is off-limits. Dolly responds to questions with compassion, an open heart, and honesty. She encourages you to consider all the available options and never tells you you should do something. Reading this book is like great therapy, without the burden of talking or expense.

As a twenty-one-year-old, I did not relate to many of the questions in this book like marriage and fertility issues, but I can return to it when I need to. A woman of my age is likely to face such questions in the future, hence this book is great to have on standby. Dolly also has a brilliant sense of humour which she laces through the uncomfortable sections of this book. Five moments I found funny, wise, and witty: 

1. ‘As joyful as fantasy can be - the essential as I believe for the sanity of many - it should never become more meaningful than reality.’

2. ‘I know it feels like everyone else is getting railed all the time, but they probably aren’t. And even if they are, their lives will not be wildly more pleasurable than yours. Most railing done at university is not the railing to be remembered on the deathbed.’

3. ‘Your virginity is nothing to be ashamed of, and it’s also nobody’s business but yours.’

4. ‘There is nothing you could find on an ex’s profile that’s going to make you feel good.’

5. ‘You’ll have a dreamless sleep in which their face is absent. You’ll notice early-morning light spilling in from your bedroom blind and you’ll remember that fun came before them - fun that is sure to come again. Heartbreak is like internal gridlock - for a while there’s nowhere to move in a traffic jam of thoughts. Then a tiny bit of space frees up without you realising and you can finally feel something else.’

Read this collection of wisdom here: Dear Dolly by Dolly Alderton | Waterstones